Adventure of the 127th Year
by Sonanoka21093
Summary: A collaboration between Luminous Beginnings, and myself. What happens when two authors work on a fic at the exact same time, in a D&D manner? Crazy things, apparently... Rated M, as I honestly have no clue where this may end up! Starts in the head canon of Luminous Beginnings, and then transfers to my own, for no adequately explained reason save for a bit of deus ex machina.
1. Stabbin' good time

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle! Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

U/N: Well, here's a story I'm sure only about 3 people in total knew was coming! This was made with a great deal of help from Luminous Beginnings, who you should totally check out the work of!

Lunasa: Greetings, everyone. I was sent by Mr. Beginnings to assist in the story, and to be his voice in all regards. May jubilation now commence.

U/N: Right! And this would be the Author version of Usagi! You know, the one that talks to people in PMs and the like. Honestly, I was expecting it to be Merlin... He does seem to have a bit of a thing for her, if you ask me...

Lunasa: One would think that, wouldn't they? However, he decided it would be rather unfriendly to play simple favorites all the time, and delegated the task to me. It is also his belief that prolonged exposure to my sister may induce symptoms such as brain damage, shaking, schizophrenia, and general insanity, he'd prefer that no one besides himself be exposed to such conditions. Damned cretin.

U/N: So he'd rather expose himself to her? My, that sounds a bit...

Lunasa: Exactly. Insane, the both of them. The tea's rotted their brains.

U/N: Shh...! Be carefull when you say such dangerous things! Do you want to anger the vast majority of the population, who all drink tea?

Lunasa: Eh, I don't care. Can't kill something that's not alive in the first place. But there's something else he told me to do... bah, where is it. Oh, yes. Ahem. This is the Cirno News Network with a breaking news stor-

U/N: How the heck did that get mixed in with the cue cards...?

Lunasa: I'm paid to read it off. But he never said I had to finish it. Besides, all it would be is obscure plot hints that are barely even apparent after the fact.

U/N: Yeah, I've yet to even really pay close enough attention to them to really gleam anything useable from the things...

Lunasa: I'll be sure to pass it on. He should really stop taking writing advice from Merlin, anyways. As for now, I'll just sit here and drink my coffee. My nice, _expensive_ coffee. That he paid for.

U/N: ...You're only here because he's paying well, I take it?

Lunasa: Very well.

U/N: ...Indeed. I take it that you've said everything in which he paid you to say?

Lunasa: Well, I haven't advertised his works. But he simply said to talk about his fics. And I did just that. So, that covers everything. But let it be on record, I will not star in a Devil Went Down to Georgia pastiche, no matter how amusing the idea seems to him.

U/N: The what now? Also, we destroy our records hourly. Well, I guess big sis Flan does anyways...

Lunasa: Never mind, it is of no import. I will simply continue to sabotage his efforts. With prejudice.

U/N: And why, pray tell, are you trying to do such a thing?

Lunasa: I abhor being written of behind my back. He should be thankful that all of his plans thus far have been innocent. Or it would been extreme prejudice.

U/N: Note to self: Write about Lunasa. Specifically, behind her back. In very, _very_ lewd ways.

Lunasa: Fair warning. I do know how to play banjo music on my violin.

U/N: Fair warning. I do know how to enjoy banjo music on a violin.

Lunasa: We shall see how long you survive. But for now, should we get on with the story, before we start another one? My coffee is getting cold.

U/N: Ahh, that's true... Well, you heard the woman! On with the show!

* * *

The grey haired woman stepped delicately over the floor, skirting the small pockets of blood and piles of debris that littered in its way. Eventually coming to a stop in front of a bruised body, she leaned down, perching herself on her toes as she stared at him.

Pulling a knife from her apron, she twirled it about her fingers as she asked, "You really should know better than to ask someone in this mansion to hit you, boy. But now that I'm here, I have a request." Gripping the knife in her hand, she held it over him. "May I stab you? I'll not hit anything too vital, now…"

Grunting, he looked back up at her. "What? You're asking permission to…" Blinking, he shook his head and looked away, gritting his teeth. "You might as well, since you are probably going to do it anyways. Just nothing too vital, alright?"

"Of course, stranger." Giving the oddest bow of her head, she suddenly plunged her knife into the meat of his belly. Shivering in delight, she said, "You have my gratitude."

Attempting, merely attempting to stagger back to his feet, he gripped the knife by its handle and yanked it out. "You're welcome… But right now…" He began to sway sideways, unable to keep his feet under them. "I think I'm gonna have a nice lie down…" With that, he collapsed back onto the floor, staring at the ceiling.

Strutting over towards him, she straddled him before picking up the knife. Seemingly wanting to caress the bloody blade, she instead slid it back inside to one of her sheaths and pointed out, "You know, you would have bled less if you had left it in…"

Shrugging on the floor, he cringed at the pain that shot through his wound. "Sorry, I did just get stabbed. Not an ordinary every day occurrence for me. Didn't remember everything." With a tight grin on his face, he continued. "At least this way, I can head down to see Komachi. Maybe share a few drinks."

She stepped over him, offering a fleeting glimpse of her undergarments before she settled in on the floor, elegantly perched once more. "That could possibly be… interesting. Even if she does snore loud enough to wake the dead."

Taking a few moments to realize she was being serious, he snorted. "That does sound like it would be a benefit, considering her job."

Giving him the slightest of nods, she countered with, "but consider what she is. One would think someone like her wouldn't need sleep."

Feeling oddly jovial, perhaps due to the lack of blood as it was drained by the wound, he said, "Well, one does sleep when they're dead, if that's how the phrase goes. And if you consider that she's a goddess of death…"

The woman snorted, shaking her head. "She herself isn't dead, I do believe. From what I understand from… personal, experience, they would simply cease to exist, at least." Thinking on her statement for a moment, she qualified, "Not that I've exactly seen such a thing happen, of course."

Closing his eyes, he laid back, beginning to feel tired. "Yes… yes… but still. Are the goddesses not powered by the faith humans have? Should they not live and die in the same manner as humans? But it does make one wonder…" Coughing, feeling a wet spatter erupting from his lungs, he finishes… "If a goddess dies… Where do they move on from then? Do they go to the afterlife?"

As he breathed his last, he nearly laughed at himself. Where else but Gensokyo would one debate the philosophy of a god's existence while bleeding out in a manor home.

"Now be holdin' on there a second. Who be sayin' I'ma god? It just be a title, really…"

If he had been drinking instead of bleeding out, he would have taken that moment to spit its entire contents out of his mouth out. Instead, he did the next best thing. He choked. "Eh, What's that? Who're you…"

His eyes fell down, staring at his body. Where his legs had been a moment before, was a white wispy tail. "Oh. So that's it." Nonplussed, he turned to the source of the voice, rubbing his arms together at the cold. "Bled out. Dead. No legs. I suppose I can work with that. Howdy Komachi."

As she was still quiet, he continued, answering her question from before. "And it is easier to say goddess than shinigami, and it's… about as accurate. Unless you'd prefer reaper?"

Scowling slightly, she turned away. "I'd honestly be preferrin' Komachi… For I'm the only one of us that be left."

"Ah." Turning away, the man looked away, not meeting her eyes. "Sorry there, Komachi. …The only one left? What happened to the rest? Downsizing?" Waiting a few seconds, he shivered and tried to ask, "Do you… happen to have a spare coat lying around here? Being a ghost is… colder, than I imagined."

Turning about, he was met with the face of the reaper, giving him an odd grin. Darting forward, she seemed to press her. "Cold, be you? Oho… you mustn't be dead then… The dead not be feeling nothin' of the sort while here in this land."

Blinking idly at the abrupt closeness, he took a smooth step back. "Hrm… Ok. That's good. So that must mean that I'm only mostly dead, which means a little alive. Good… good… very good."

"…Crap."

At the raised eyebrow from the amused shinigami, he began to panic. "Oh dear… that means that my body is bleeding out up at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, which means if I do survive, I'll probably be killed again." A few seconds went by, before he raised a finger to his lips. "Unless she literally does dye the floor with blood…"

"Well, considerin' that she has sent one poor fool to his reward in your own reality today, I don't be belivin' that she'll be hungry for quite a while." Holding a hand up to forestall the inevitable questions, she continued. "While I'ma the only one left, that's just takin' this reality into consideration. The stitches holdin' the realities together have been in a little bit of a flux, what with them gettin' all tangled up like three cats and a ball of yarn. That's why you be sent to my Sanzu."

The man tilted his head. "Wait a minute… so I not be even being sent to the correct reality? That does kinda suck." He blinked momentarily. "Wait, does that mean I could meet myself?" Immediately shaking her head, he retread on his earlier question. "Does that mean I can't see him, because of some weird rule? Or am I already dead here?" Finally getting an affirmative, he sighed. "What fun."

After a few minutes of sitting around, staring at each other and everything around him, he snapped his fingers. "You know, I just thought of something."

Komachi barely even shrugged at his statement. "Shoot."

Taking a deep breath to lay out his idea, he began, "Well, isn't it true that there have been some budget cuts…"

"Budget, what budget?" Judging by the wide eyes and somewhat harried expression, not to mention the somewhat lethal sheen that her scythe had taken on, he felt that he had ticked her off. "Do you honestly be thinkin' we be paid for this job? What a hoot. This be a form of hell in and of itself… Eiki and me are but the only ones left. There be nobody that truly runs the show; the inmates be the warden, the guards, judge, jury, executioner and everythin' that be between! Elly… she long been gone, havin' paid for her sins, so I be havin' even fewer ways to be passin' the time. I don't even think to remember what I be doing that was so horrible to earn this spot."

With a grand shrug, she continued, swinging the scythe dangerously close to his face. "Maybe I was a slut of a woman, a murderer of epic proportions… Somethin' truly despicable." Slumping slightly, she looked away. "This place sure does get tiresome after… hell, how many years have I been here, for Pete's sake? Ten thousand?" With a snort, Komachi turned back to face him worth dark eyes. "Time may be healin' all wounds, but only by forgettin' that you ever had 'em. I may be enjoyin' my self, sure, but it is another form of hell. Purgatory at best, if you will."

Cringing back at her diatribe, he floated away slightly. Still, he did his best to meet her eyes and respond. "Sheesh… Nobody's left? Pete's bloody sake.. I imagined that there might be other Yama in contact, but they're all wrapped up and gone, at least from here? That's horrible."

Tilting his head to the side, he began to think out loud. "And you don't even remember why you've been stuck here? That honestly sounds like a bunch of bull. If it's been so long that the memory itself has rotted away, could the crime be worth keeping you here? And is there anything stopping you from leaving?" Stopping, he started to gesture with his hand before looking away. "Or are you chained in more ways than one?"

Shaking her head at the curiosity the man had, she let herself fall down and lean against the side of the boat. "If I be leavin' for too long, I would slowly have my soul extinguished... Though, the immortality is a bit of a perk, in and of itself." Looking away, she gazed off over the water. "And it's not a system made to be fair; it be bindin's of the laws of life and death, and ain't much of a system at all. Do you know why Eiki be warnin' others of their sins?" The dark clouds in her eyes were telling him that he well ought to imagine why.

"She doesn't want help, because it be a fate worse than death in her eyes. I see it as a bit of a cursed blessing, a hell of a deal with a heavenly payoff way on down the road, further than you could holler… Once we finally be gettin' our freedom, we be left immortal and pure, so to speak. Compared to the other hells I could be experiencin' instead of this one, I suppose it ain't too bad. I've no idea what the others are like, but this one ain't half bad, really... Just a bit... dull. Really dull. Really, really dull."

He floated there silently for a few minutes, staring away over the water. "That is an interesting arrangement… But I know Gensokyo enough that I can imagine she has her work cut out for her if she wants to keep them out." Turning to face Komachi, he raised a hand to scratch his chin. "Curiously, it almost sounds like you would become one of the Celestials once you're done. Or something similar. I can see why you keep going."

Pausing, he opened his mouth, deciding whether or not if he wanted to offer. Seeing no harm in doing so, he asked, "Any thing that I can do to help you, Miss Komachi?"

The shinigami gave him a wry grin. "Live well. Eiki tends to end up cryin' when she has to be sendin'. Not that you'll be likely to wind up in this here reality when you kick the ol' bucket, mind you. I just hate to be hearin' her cry, so that'd be enough for m-" Her cheeky statement was ended by a piercing wail, cutting through the fog that surrounded the two. Any hint of joy fell off of Komachi's face as she turned back to man the boat.

A few seconds of silence met the two, as he stares at her back. Floating forward, he takes his hand and lays gently it on her shoulder. "I'll… do my best. Do you want me to go and see if I should, or do you need to be…" Unsure of how best to finish his statement, he waved his hand off in the direction of the sobbing.

She turned her head and gave him a ghost of a grin. "Heh… why ever not? Sure kid. I could even be bringin' some souls along, save us both a bit of time. Let's cast off."

Blinking, he attempts to remain stabilized, not bothering to count for the fact that it should be impossible for someone with no legs to fall over, if they're floating in the first place. "I probably shouldn't be getting near the edges, should I?"

"Heh." She gave me a twisted grin. "Kid, we be already there. I can be fast. All it takes is but a blink."

He looked around, taking in the similar yet obviously completely different landscape. "Oh. So we are here." Floating off and onto the dock, he turned back to Komachi. "But shouldn't we get on and see Miss Eiki, then?"

Smug grin on her face, she shook her head, her twin ponytails dancing back and forth. "We? You're the only one that be goin' in there, kid. She be out of souls to judge for the time bein', so it ain't like it's a sin to go in, as of now. And as for now…" She raised her scythe onto her shoulder, while giving him an evil grin. "Get goin' Earl. I don't want to be waitin' too long."

Snorting at the shinigami's remark, he shook his head. "Ah, alright then, I gotcha. …But wouldn't it mean that it would be a sin to be judged in the first place." Sighing, he raised a hand in farewell, beginning to float towards the large doors before him. "Oh well, above my pay grade. Thanks Komachi. I hope you'll be getting along well. And it becomes less dull for you out there.

As he reached the interior of the building, though, he stopped and spun around, eyes wide. "Wait! How did you know my-" Before he could finish his sentence, the doors slammed shut. "-name…" Mentally cursing the woman, he turned about, making sure to walk quietly. He had still forgotten that he was floating instead of using his feet.

Entering into the chamber, he couldn't help but gaze around the room in admiration. It was abnormally large, too big and too old to have been constructed by human hands. Pews lined the majority of the room, offering space for what could have been thousands to sit. All were facing the middle of the room, were stood a simple wooden desk on an ornate pedestal. Gazing around for whomever might be there, Earl decided to try and call out. "Hello, Miss Eiki? Are you there?"

A quiet soft voice responded, from the center of the room. "Genocide, homicide, infanticide, and suicide. Those are major si- You're not dead." The voice sharpened, becoming sterner and louder as a figure arose from the shadows surrounding the desk. It revealed a small figure, short in stature and even mores in bust, yet with blue eyes weighted down with tears and age. Those eyes met his, drilling directly into his soul. "Those were my own, not yours. It is not your time. Why are you here, boy."

The weight of her vision seemed to burden him, seemingly preventing him from moving from his spot. The sheer presence from the girl pounded down on his ears, forcing him to remember each and every one of his wrongs.

Eventually, though, he managed to croak out, "I am here because… because Komachi brought me along. She heard you sobbing, and we both thought that you like some company." Swallowing, he felt the presence lift ever so slightly. "Some company who hopefully hasn't been damned, or damned himself already. But as for why I am in Higan to begin with… I am only most dead, so to speak."

The presence lifting even further, Earl took the opportunity to step forward, trying to smile through the dark mood. "So, if I may ask Miss Eiki, do you wish for some?"

The woman continued to stare at him for a few seconds, before looking away. "…I'd offer you a seat, but mine is the only one. As such, I will stand." Giving a large sigh, seemingly filled with years of regrets, she stood. He walked forward next to her, but did not sit. Standing next to her, he simply waited for her to speak, as he could not think of anything to say.

A short few seconds later, she did finally continue. "Even after so many years, I can't help but break down at the sound of their screams... Every time I open the gates of hell, I have to listen to ever single sinner within…" She turned to him, eyes starting to shine again with tears, even though her was still set firm. It's not the act of sending one particular sinner to hell that breaks my heart... It's how I can hear every single sinner screaming out in agony, all at once. I've had plenty of time to get used to those screams, those cries, and the pleading... voices!"

She closed her eyes, her fists starting to clench by her side as her mouth began to twist into a frown. "And yet... I likely never will…" Eiki looked pointedly over the shoulder, still attempting to stay calm. "I would like to request your shoulder, boy. Would that be acceptable?"

Without even hesitating, he nodded, giving her a small smile while putting a hand on her shoulder. "Of course it is, miss. Of course it is." In a flash, she took the opportunity to cling to his ghostly torso, burying her face into his shoulder. As she began to shake, Earl patted her gently on the back, pulling her close while whispering in her ear. "I can't even try to imagine what it must be like to go through all of that. To keep going through all of it, and to still be able to stand here. You're a stronger person than I could ever be, Miss Eiki. Stronger than I ever will be. But it's still alright. Even the strongest need a shoulder to cry on."

"T-thank you…" Giving another sob, she began to cry again, tears coming out, thick and black. He nearly started when he realized what it was that those tears were made out of. But he knew that he couldn't dart away now. It would frighten the poor girl, making her thing that he thought her abhorrent. So, instead, he held his ground, and let her cry.

As she did, though, he felt himself growing lighter. He took the opportunity to look down, seeing that the black tears were pulling a dark liquid out of his own being. Both ended up flowing down his body, ending up in a puddle beneath the two of them.

Suddenly, Earl felt her shift against his shoulder. "Y-you've no particularly grand sins, boy… Still not going t-to…" She clutches even tighter, but he could hear the smile in the voice. The little Yama was overjoyed to finally meet another who wasn't destined for the fires.

"Thank you…"

After what felt like hours, she finally calmed down. Squeezing her gently, he nodded his head and accepted her thanks. "You're most welcome, Miss Eiki. You needed it, and I'm glad that I could be there for you." He looked away for a moment, voice quieting again. "…It's good to know that I haven't done anything that would cause you even more pain, too."

Cautiously, he reached his hand up. Hesitating slightly, he raised his hand to her cheeks, wiping off the tears with the back of his thumb. Smiling slightly, he asked, "Is there anything else you might need of me, Miss?"

The woman sniffed once more. "Thank you again, boy. I needed that." She looked up, meeting him with a wide smile, nearly shining in happiness. "As much as I wish I could ask more of you… It is time for you to go." Raising her own hand, she placed the small palm on his face. Breathing deeply, she stared at him with sad eyes over that smile. "Just remember… I have judged you, and found you clean. If you are to die as you are now, you'd be free of sin, and could reincarnate however you may wish. Be careful, and do what is right." She looked away, blushing slightly.

"For me, if anything else."

At that, Earl's vision erupted in white, and he felt himself being forced away, and being propelled back to his own body. Opening his actual eyes up with a groan, he looked around at the unfamiliar landscape. Mind reeling at the thought of being in the courtroom moments before with Eiki, and now being in the middle of a plane, he stood stock still.

After a few minutes, the shock bleeding off of him, he finally gained the wits to understand the what had happened, making him sigh in regret. "Didn't even get to say goodbye. I hope she'll be alright."

"Now, need to make it to Youkai Mountain. I can decide what to do from there."


	2. Tree to the face

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

U/N: And now, a word from our sp- Wait, that doesn't seem right...

Lunasa: What, now that you took my money away, you tried to get in on the action yourself? Despicable.

U/N: But we don't even have any sponsors... ...Save for crazy Reimu's discount donations! Do you want to donate, but don't thi- Wait, what am I saying?

Lunasa: Hrm. A discount donation? That seems like a rather poor choice by the Hakurei. She'd pay more for you to speak about it than... Hrm. I wonder. Are you possessed, or has your mind been played with? Give me a moment, and I will... extricate an answer.

U/N: Do you enjoy Konpaku Fried ChinChin? Well we have we a deal f- Wait, that one made even less sense! Ahh! Cold hand!

Lunasa: Ah, quit being such a crybaby. My hand isn't groping your temporal lobe that harshly. But there is something here, just what is it...

U/N: I can't... feel the... left side of my body. I have to... talk like an actor... for some reason.

Lunasa: Hmm... Apologies, I accidentally place my hand between the nerve endings. Should be better now. But there's someone in here. Let me just extract the nuisance...

U/N: If you kill me, I'll-

Lunasa: Damned cretin on a stick, if you don't come out I'll... Good, got it. ...Hello, sister.

Merlin: Greetings, sister! Have you decided to assist me in the glorious revolution that I am beginning in Usagi's head?

Lunasa: ...Glorious revolution. By using her head as a metaphorical megaphone for various inane advertisements?

Merlin: Indeed! Can you not imagine the glory of a revolution onset by Izayoi Padding and Upholstery?

Lunasa: Did you steal some of my coffee?

Merlin: _...Maybe._After all, you did have to give it all aw-

Lunasa: Shut up about that.

U/N: Ahh, that reminds me, did you enjoy that wish~? Or maybe the lesson in friendship you learned, because of it?

Lunasa: Yes, can't you tell by the _thrill _that is in my voice? Why, I imagined that I would bleed after spending so much time...

Merlin: You mean you _didn't _enjoy the eggplant?

U/N: ...Eggplant?

Lunasa: Not when we are playing scrabble, and you attempt to feed me the pieces!

Merlin: But the pieces were made of eggplant! And they were delicious!

Lunasa: It doesn't help when you're about to **win the game** and you stuff my pieces down my throat.

U/N: ...Well, as those two seem to be busy, I think I'll start talking to myself, as though people actually watch this show! ...Seriously, our ratings are pretty darn bad. We are on a channel that _pays people_ to watch we are so unpopular! Anywho, ignoring the odds of me having a bit of lingering insanity in my noggin, how is everyone! ...You don't say... Now, I know that people were confused, if those little people in the mail box that scream compliments and complaints at us can be believed, so I'll be clearing that up a bit. ...Maybe... Or maybe I'll just confuse you more? Anyways, Sakuya is from Luminous Beginnings' work, so she's a bit... different from mine. A total sadist, and probably a murderer, at that!

Merlin: Oh, she's not a sadist. She's just a poor little girl who likes to stab people. A lot. With knives. Just like how sister her likes to stab our ears with the shriek of her violin!

Lunasa: ...Sister, do you control yourself. I'd rather not be getting further on the bad side of a girl who has figured out how to stab _ghosts._Not that I can do anything against her. When I use my powers, she gets excited, like the freaky dog that she is.

Merlin: That's why I love to play with her! She has such a wonderful look on her face. As if she's eaten a few wheels of cheese.

U/N: Wait, did you say "Izayoi Padding and Upholstery" awhile back? Big sis Remi's going to be mad that you know about that...

Merlin: Yup yup! Then she'll go after the other version of me, thinking that it was her! Isn't it grand setting vampires on your dimensional twins?

Lunasa: For a certain definition of grand, perhaps. But do you have any reason for setting loose a youkai on Usagi's Merlin?

Merlin: I fail to see any need for this thing called 'a reason'.

Lunasa: Shall we hurry this up before my head aches any more than it already does? I'm already suffering from caffeine withdrawals. Do remember that it is _your_ fault.

U/N: Ahh, that's right... As I'm sure only the two of us know, I do need to say one more, very important thing! In DoP, it's currently... I think it was October 12th, 2011? Anywho, in this fanfic, it's summer of 2012, much like KKYEC. Ohh, and if these acronyms confuse you, simply look at my list of stories. Ohh, and I only know the exact date because the full moon was the day before~ I'm not insane in that way, you know...

Lunasa: Sometimes, one does wonder. But enough of this. I'll leave Merlin in your care as thanks for all of your help with the cretin. Do have a lovely day.

Merlin: So, shall we join and continue our glorious revolution? Or am I going to have fun~?

U/N: Uhh, okay. So, Merlin... what sort of things do you do for fun?

Merlin: Oh, lots of stuff! Such as making people vomit in technicolor while spinning, making radio sets sputter weird noises and evil laughter. I'm _really_ good at evil laughter. Oh, and subliminal messaging is always fun to do... I still make my sister pour laxative in her coffee that way, sometimes. I thought about having people bathe, then turn all the water to blood, but that's my niece's schtick!

U/N: Uhh... H-how about we do things that I find fun, and see if you enjoy them...?

Merlin: I suppose that might be alright... Ooh, one idea real quick. We can play chestburster! I can hide in you, and when you're talking to someone...

U/N: Ohh! That _does_ sound like fun! Alright, let's do that! I even have a target in mind...

* * *

The next hour drug on as he walked alone, the sun low in the sky and nearly blinding the view. It was rather unfortunate that Youkai Mountain did not obstruct the view of the burning orb. Rather, it was merely framed by it. At the very least, it allowed him to easily spot its visage, and press onwards towards it.

His trek was momentarily stopped by a forest that had sprouted up between his location, and that of the mountain. Eyes casing from side to side and looking for an alternate path, he spotted none. With a sigh, Earl began to walk closer to the forest.

As he did, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. Whether by some manner of lower instinct triggering, or prescience gained by being stabbed and killed, he felt the presence of another nearby. Knowing that it was most likely a youkai considering if he would make a good meal, he shook his head and pressed forward into the forest proper.

Walking through the shaded forest floor, he felt the presence recede slightly. Whatever it was, it seemed to have disappeared. However, a voice on the wind seemed to carry past his ears, causing him to worry again.

"What a good smell… It's almost intoxicating~"

Hearing the voice, he cast his eyes upward, debating if it would be worth it to head back the way he came and find a spot to bunker down. However, observing the orange rays peeking through the treetops, he shook his head. "Damned if I go, damned if I go back." Turning towards the dark heart of the forest, he sighed. "In for a pence, in for a pound."

Continuing to walk again, Earl began to glance at the trees, attempting to find his mysterious and invisible companion. "I know you are there, so you might as well know that I'm heading in."

Again, nothing responded immediately, until the wind carried in another voice. "I wonder what human tastes like…"

Slowly making his way through the forest, he began to run into some trees. Unfortunately, the man did not have the fortune to be born a youkai, and as such had incredibly bad night vision in comparison. As he hit his foot on the fifth exposed root, he began to fume slightly, before hearing something else impact a tree.

Standing still, he tried to look around, attempting to spot whom might be following him. However, he did not have any dice to roll and attempt to spot, and thus failed. As his futile search continued, he heard the impact again, followed by a sniffing voice. "Jeez… I wish I could see…." Another sniff, sounding almost like a little girl crying, sounded out. "I smell you though, meal. I'll find you soon enou-" Suddenly, whoever it was running around slammed headlong into a tree, causing a rather disgustingly wet cracking sound. "Mah nozshe!"

Internal little instincts kicking in, Earl turned towards the source of the sound, slowly feeling his way towards the commotion. "Hello there? Are you ok?" Making his way along, he bumped into a few more trees in the complete darkness. Eventually, though, his foot caught on something softer than wood, and he tripped onto the ground.

"Bah… that's gonna leave a mark. But are you alright there?"

The dark figure, which he could barely see, seemed to stare at him incredulously. "Oww! W-why would you come towards the voice of someone who wants to eat you? Idiot…" With that declaration, she lashes out at him. With a closed fist, and with all the ferocity of a little girl.

Wondering if this was some sort of strange joke being pulled by a stranger person, Earl decided to play up the attack, just in case. Rubbing his arm tenderly, he countered by saying, "I might be a bit of a aka, but it wouldn't exactly be right of me to ignore you if you did hurt yourself. …That is, if you want some help at least. Or could you perhaps tell me your name?"

The voice responded, completely ignorant of his attempts to ham things up. "Don't have one."

Tilting his head, he watched the darkness carefully. "Really? That is interesting…" A thought struck him all of a sudden. "Would you want me to give you… No. That wouldn't be right of me to do." Shaking his thought away, he leaned forward and touched her arm lightly, trying to get her attention. "But do you need help, little miss?"

However, his hand on her arm seemed to burn, and the figure slapped at him. As if she was trying to beat him to death. With a paper napkin. "What do you think you're doing, you letch‽" As she cried out, she skittered away a few paces, but still stayed relatively near.

Hands jumping into the air automatically, even if she couldn't see them, Earl tried to apologize. "Sorry! I'm not trying to do anything like that at all. Trust me." Glancing around, he stood up, and began to make a motion to move away. "I just wanted to help, since it sounded like you hurt yourself a fair bit. But if you want me to just go…"

With a frustrated growl, the voice seemed to shuffle about, pouting slightly. "Fine then… I'll forgive you. It's too damn dark, and you're a human, so it's not like it's your fault."

"Probably."

Smiling slightly, he settles in against a nearby tree, before speaking to the voice. "Alright, thank you. And it is dark… makes me wish that I could use some magic." A reminder popping in his head that this was a youkai of some sort, he continued. "You did imply that you weren't human."

The voice was quiet again, before answering, "I've got just a bit… All of us have that much, at least."

"I was just curious. Didn't know if you wanted to make a light." With a slight grin crossing his face, he said, "That way, you could check and make sure that I'm not too bad of a person. And if you want, I can check and see if your nose is better." Tilting his head curiously, he asked, "Or has it already healed? I know some youkai are… quicker than humans in that regard."

The little youkai snorted in response. "Don't overestimate us, human. I'm no great youkai. I can heal a bit faster, but not _that_ fast… A-anyways, I don't know how to make lights. It's not like I'm some sort of magician."

Wry grin covering his face, Earl said, "I know not to assume too much, but I'd rather be overestimating than underestimating, to be honest." Glancing back down at her, the look of curiosity covered his face again. Not that anyone could see it. "But now that you mention it… May I ask what you are? That is, if you don't mind me doing as such."

Hesitating momentarily, the man could imagine that the voice seemed to be blushing slightly. "I'm just a little pixie of spring…" The voice trailed off, shrinking into nothingness.

"Don't believe I've ever met a youkai like that before." While his stay in Gensokyo had been cut abruptly short by the dog in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, he had managed to learn a bit about the various youkai species. But that was not one of them. However, a more pressing thought cut off his musings. "You hesitated in saying it… Is there something wrong about being a pixie?"

By now, he could nearly feel the heat radiating off the pixie, even if he still could not see her. "I didn't want to become a pixie. I just didn't do what Lily told me to. And since she's the Herald of Spring, and I disobeyed her, I was turned into… this." He could imagine by this point that she was gesturing to himself, but he still could not see her. Next time, he should really bring some dice. "After that happened, I began to… hunger, for human flesh. And no matter what I do, it just wont' go away." Heaving a sigh, the pixie seemingly slumped to the ground, dejected with the world at large.

Having not heard much about Lily the White, he blinked before saying, "Whoah, whoah, hang on. You were a fairy before this? And now, she made you into a… flesh-eating creature? Why in the world would she even do such a thing?"

Before he got a response, another, more horrible thought popped into his head. "And… have you eaten someone already? Or were you planning to…" As much as he wouldn't have minded seeing Eiki again, especially in light of what he was told, he gagged at the thought of becoming someone's, or something's, meal.

Unfortunately, though, she provided the answer he least wanted to hear. "I've yet to actually feed. And now, I just had the perfect chance to strike outside the forest when you weren't paying attention, yet… I-I couldn't bring myself to! I don't want to hurt anybody, or eat them, I just wanted to play!" She began to sniff again, her voice becoming watery and thick with tears. "

"I want to go home!"

The cry for home was shouted loud and clear through the trees, with a volume that something as small as he imagined she was should be incapable of. As the voice echoed, the trees began stirring, as a multitude of creatures began moving about. A sense of dread began to fill his stomach.

Immediately moving closer to the pixie, who was momentarily oblivious to his movements, he whispered, "Shh little one, I understand. That fairy messed with your head when she did that to you." Feeling more confident than he was, he continued speaking as the rustling became louder. "We'll just make her take it back won't we? But little pixie, I don't suppose you know a way out? Because if those youkai find me…"

Granted, this was all pointed out to the creature that had just minutes before attempted to eat him. That was one of the times that he was glad that he had grown up treating charisma as his primary stat. High diplomacy and persuasion, and an enemy became an ally in face of another enemy. The only bad thing was that were a lot of other enemies now. And they all wanted to eat him.

Interrupting his recollection, the pixie replied, voice shaking. "N-no. I a-always just run when-"

A growl from behind the two cut the pixie off, causing her to shriek. Without thinking, Earl reached out and grabbed the pixie around the wrist, beginning to run as quickly as possible from the growl. "Dammit! No time little pixie, come on!"

In his fear, the man was able to weave through the trees as best he could, fairy in tow. Where before he could not see them in the slightest, he was now able to perceive them slightly. Keeping his mind from bothering to explore that oddity while attempting to egress at top speed from a rather hungry predator, he managed to make his way past the next copse of trees.

The chase continued in the same vein for a few minutes, but Earl began to tire. His lungs burning at the sudden exertion, with naught to show for it as the presence that was looming behind him, eager and willing to feast upon his bones, was growing closer and closer. A thought flashed through his mind, suggesting that he leave the pixie behind. The youkai that was chasing the two would perhaps stop and take the slower meal as it attempted to regain its bearings, and he would be able to run more quickly. Not to mention that she had attempted to eat him in the first place.

However, the little sister instinct proved too much for him, and he immediately cast the idea out of his head. He attempted to rationalize that the youkai probably would prefer a human's flesh over that of a pixie, and would continue to pursue him. Summoning up some hidden reserves, his heart began to beat as if it was an iron machine, speeding up further.

Thus, they continued for another fair bit, fleeing through the forest. However, Earl's body began to feel weaker and heavy, and he can't help but to slow down, iron heart surging forward or no. Mentally, he reviewed his situation with what faculties remained. The youkai couldn't be outrun unless it wants to be outrun, and only sheer force of will is continuing to carry him forward. The rest of his head, unable to make a coherent thought, is pounding, vision swimming before him.

It is then that Earl realizes that there is no sound following him at all. No footsteps, no nothing. Mind ignoring the fact that his own feet were making no sounds, he slows all the way to a stop. Breathing deeply with his hands on his knees, he attempts to calm his beating heart as black spots meet the edge of his vision.

"Ok… I think… that we may… have lost… it…" With an incredibly weak cry of joy, he turned about and moved towards the pixie in an attempt to hug her. Eyes widening at the lack of contact with anything soft, he begins to glance around, checking every nook and cranny for the girl.

"Wait… pixie? Little… pixie? Where did… you go?" Completely exhausted, he collapsed onto the ground, only able to listen lest he completely cast himself to the darkness of unconsciousness.

For a minute or so, silence reigns o'er the night, letting the man catch his breath. Still exhausted from his sprint, he barely notices over the sound of his huffing the fall of little feet growing louder and louder. Finally realizing that something was coming his way, he quieted himself, in the off chance that it was something wicked.

For the first time fortune seemed to smile upon him, as the pixie's voice broke the quiet. "The jerk…. If he was going to run with me, he could have at least not drug me through the mud. I think he broke my left wing! Damnable jerk…" As her voice fell into a variety show of muttering, inanities, profanity, and growling, Earl mused that fortune may instead be screwing him over one.

Before the mental image could be carried further than is necessary, she began to speak coherently once more. "Cretin of a jerk! I knew I should have just tried to eat him! …Even if every time I've attempted to eat someone, the girls kill me and the boys do strange things with a gun made of meat…" She stomps onto the ground, sending a puff of leaves into the air. Not that they could be seen. No dice had yet to be found. "I hate humans! They might as well all go straight to Rumia, for all I care."

Listening into her tirade, Earl found himself mouthing the words she was speaking. "Weird… gun made of meat?" Horror dawned on him as he realized her words. "Wait a minute, that means… Oh no." His eyes widened at shock at the epiphany. But they also widened because he realized he had spoken loud enough to hear. And the pixie did not seem to be in the mood for pleasantries, tea, and crumpets.

As the air stilled, he decided to bite the bullet. "Sorry about that Miss Pixie. I didn't mean to be hurting you. I was just trying to help you get away…"

In the middle of his apology, she seemed to have located from where he was speaking. "You!" Zeroing in on his location, she dove forward, a snarl gracing her lips. "I'll kill you, you bastard!" Footsteps pounded on the ground, growing louder and louder as she approached.

When she suddenly found herself kissing a tree once again.

Hearing the slumped form of her body hitting the ground, Earl waited calmly for a few seconds, before glancing about. "So, Miss Pixie? Are you… awake?" No reply forthcoming, he sighed and stood up, shaking slightly due to his fatigue. He looked away and through the night, wondering if he should simply leave her be. After all, she'll simply respawn if she dies, correct? No harm, no foul.

"…I can't just leave her here. She's hurt because of me." He paused momentarily, arguing with his sense of logic. "Except for her nose; that's her own fault. Still though…" Knotting his brow, he thought the question over for a bit longer before giving a grand sigh. Little sister instinct had beaten logic once again. "I can take her with me. It shouldn't be too hard… And if I do run across civilization, I can get her some treatment."

Gingerly, he leaned down, scooping the pixie up in his arms. Taking great care with the feathery wings, he moved her in his arms until she rested comfortable. His front and arms now smeared with mud, he began to slowly mosey on along, pixie in his arms like a newly wed bride.

The next hour passes by in blissful silence, as whatever youkai might have been awakened by the pixie's cry seem to have fallen back into slumber. That, or they perhaps were out prowling another part of the forest, or munching on some other kill they had made. Earl tried not to think about it too hard.

The running that he had indulged in earlier had indeed proven rather fortuitous, showing that fate did not solely intend to use the man as a butt monkey. While it had taken him completely off course, it did deposit near to the far side of the forest. Walking out into the moonlit night, he casts his eyes about, searching for a landmark in the now bright night.

It takes him a few seconds to realize that he is staring at the base of Youkai Mountain, rising above the land in its brown, plain glory. Glancing about, he sees nothing else of note on the mountainside. No houses, no shelters, no kappa lurking to steal his shirikodama. The only thing that stands out among the tall grass and waving trees is a field far in the distance. Squinting his eyes, he attempts to see what is in the field, but is only able to tell that it is yellow. Somehow. Perhaps fate took pity and decided to roll the dice for him.

Mentally marking off spot from his checklist, he begins trudging towards the mountain. Looking down at the mud-covered pixie in the dark, he begins to explain his plans to her, even if she couldn't hear him. It is always cathartic to speak to a living being, after all. "I suppose tomorrow, we can head towards that field. The tengu probably wouldn't like us coming up their mountain, even if we mean no harm. And the kappa…" Shivering at the thought of what they would do, he continued. "Anyways. Still, that looked like a field of corn, or wheat… So perhaps the Aki's would be able to help you?"

Waiting a few moments for an answer, but receiving nothing but her breathing in response, he shook his head. "I suppose we will find out tomorrow. But I'll find us a place to rest. And then, I'm going to just keel over and sleep until noon tomorrow." Chuckling weakly, he shook his head. "If you don't decide to kill me, that is."

Oddly amused by his own rather morbid humor, he walks further around the base of the mountain as the moon silently watches the two. After a long while, he spots a small crack in the side of the mountain. Somehow, looking at it, he knew it would lead to a cave that he would be able to bunk down in, and that a youkai wouldn't be able to find it. Even though youkai have better eyesight than humans, in general. Not questioning the voice in his head, due to his fatigue more than anything, he trudged towards the cave.

"Not that I could go on, anyways. Limbs just feel like… jello. Springy jello. But what flavor…" In his state, he idly wondered that if he licked his arms, would he taste like jello. Ignoring the thought, he made his way into the cave.

Taking care to not go too far in, and lose all light, he set the pixie down on the stone floor. Glancing towards the other side of the cave, his body weak from exertion, he started to move. However, as he glanced once more at the pixie, he shook his head. "I shouldn't let her be laying on the hard rock…" With a hum of thought, he removes the shirt, mud caked and cracking, and folded it up so that the pixie could use it as a pillow. Sliding it under her head, he waited to make sure that she was breathing alright before turning his back to her.

Earl made his way to the far side of the cave, as far as he could get from the pixie without letting her out of his sight. With one gimlet eye checking on her, he curled up on the floor, giving a sigh of relief. It may have been extremely uncomfortable, but after the abuse he put his body through, any relief was fine. Closing his eyes, he whispered softly to the night, "Good night, Miss Pixie. Hope you'll feel better in the morning. And less murderous."

As he drifted off, some part of him swore that a voice on the wind replied to him.

* * *

Lunasa: I really do hate eggplant...


	3. Tragic as can be

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

Lunasa: Where are they... Don't they know that we're on the clock? I suppose I shouldn't really care... If they're much later, I'm getting overtime. But it does lack a certain professionalism...

U/N: Oww... Sorry I'm late. Your sister had a good idea for a prank, and the target wasn't very pleased..

Lunasa: Of course, what else should I expect from her? ...Although, I should be asking what exactly she did, so that I may be prepared for any potential exorcists.

U/N: She called it "Chest Burster" or some such thing... Though, I think she's still inside of me, as she pulled back in after I started getting beaten by Yukari. Oddly enough, though, I'm not saying random ads for places that shouldn't exist.

Lunasa: Note to self: Do not let any of the kappa near her room for a good long while. And she's already fled the building, for I don't sense her in you. But you say, it was just her assisting you?

U/N: Yeah. I had a bone to pick with Yukari for what she did to my Master.

Lunasa: Interesting... and what bone was there to be picking at? And I was merely curious. I would have imagined that my niece would have been asked to join in on the fun.

U/N: Ahh, Yukari turned Cirno, Mima, and myself into humans. I easily rectified this for myself, as she ended up only turning my to my default for, and Mima didn't mind being alive again, but... Nobody makes my Master that sad, and gets away with it. Nobody.

Kana: That sounds like you had a little bit of fun... How much did she scream when the alien burst from her insides? But you didn't invite me as well? Heavens, one might think that they were being left out...

Lunasa: Speak of the devil... Where did I put my coffee...

U/N: She screamed... a lot. Panicked a bit, too, trying to bat at the thing with a rolled up news paper.

Kana: Ehehe... good, very good. Seems like auntie still has the touch. At least one of them is _stillabletogetitup_.

Lunasa: Please ignore her. She's young, and is liable to have ideas above her station. Was the outcome of your... _event _satisfactory?

U/N: Ehh, could have been better. By the end, Yukari was elbow dropping it.

Lunasa: Elbow dropping?

U/N: Yeah, she ripped the thing out, threw it on the ground, and landed on it elbow first. I couldn't help but laugh at that point, which was what made her aware enough of me that she punched me in the gut by way of gap. She sure can punch...

Lunasa: Oh, do I know that. What I would do to be able to use that woman's vocal cords for my violin strings...

Kana: So, auntie still does have a bit of it left in her. Yehe... I don't suppose _youwouldletmewatch?_

Lunasa: No, I wouldn't.

Y/N: Is that so? I suppose my voice COULD be considered quite high in quality...

U/N: Uh-oh...

Lunasa: ...You're not the Yukari I know, but Yukari all the same. But if I was truly going for quality, I'd be going for one of the birds. Particularly the night sparrow.

Y/N: And not those of the one that could make their vocal cords do just about anything one can image, and some that one can't~?

U/N: I-I'll just be seeing myself ou-

Y/N: Ahh-ahh-ahh. No leaving early~

Lunasa: Indeed, no leaving. As for you, I'd prefer not. I'd hate to have my violin begin screeching instead of singing while I am performing.

Kana: If you're offering, I'll take them. Auntie Merlin would love to have a new necklace... ❤

Y/N: I doubt they'd make a good necklace, really.

Kana: Yehehe... You'd be surprised...

Lunasa: Ok, Kana. Enough creeping out Usagi. I think the poor girl is twitching over there.

U/N: ...How does one even do that? Remove vocal cords, that is... Do they reach in? Just grab them up, and give a good tug? Maybe a knife is involved for easy access? Maybe one of the mummy brain hooks?

Y/N: Ohh, dear... She seems to have gone a bit loopy...

Kana: Of course! That is her job. But perhaps I should go and draw her a bath... Wouldn't that be nice, Miss Usagi?

U/N: C-cold water, please. I melt in the heat... I'm an ice-cube. Do I taste like one? Ice-cubes are yummy...

Kana: Of course, of course, I will get right on to that. One nice... relaxing... bath...

Lunasa: Don't be switching it with... You know what, she deserves it. Have fun, dear niece!

Kana: Oh, I will, auntie! I do so like it _whentheyscream_, yehehe...

Y/N: Buh bye, now~

Lunasa: Well, that solves that problem. At least for now. But are you just planning- Hey! No touching the violin!

Y/N: But it's just so very nice~

Lunasa: Even if that's the case, how would you like it if I touched your- Wait, you'd probably like it. Dammit, I need something stronger than cream in this coffee.

Y/N: Ohh, I have something stronger~ ...Wait, that doesn't sound good...

**Elsewhere:**

U/N: Ahh, this water feels so nice~

Kana: I hope it does, Miss Usagi. After all, I made it especially cold for you...

U/N: It's lovely~ It's chilling me to the bone, eheh!

Kana: I'm glad you are... And do you want me to step out while you bathe? I'd hate for anything unfortunate to happen.

U/N: No, I'm fine. I don't really mind you staying here. Though, if you have something to do, I'm not about to try and keep you.

Kana: Oh, it's no trouble. It's a maid's duty to take care of her guests after all. And I'd hate for you to start bleeding and filling up the tub with your blood.

U/N: Ahah, I don't think I have any blood to bleed, though!

Kana: Then why is your bathwater turning red?

U/N: Ahhh!

Kana: Yehehe! You shouldn't be worrying so. It's but an additive that I've added, that is said to promote youth among those who bathe in it.

U/N: ...It... also smells a bit tasty...

Kana: Well, they do say that _._But if it does smell tasty, you may have at it...

U/N: Bleh! Tastes like dirty water!

**Elsewhere:**

Y/N: As little Usa found it was FAR too hard to come up with a place to say this herself, I suppose I will! Any mention of dice would be to the dice that are being used to decide the way things turn out~

Lunasa: Wait a minute, since when did you know what she and the cretin were- Oh, that's right. Damn boundary power.

Y/N: Ufufu, you're just jealous of the ability to do just about anything~

Lunasa: The only thing I'm jealous of is he he seems to be stealing Merlin away from us. And I've not seen hide nor hair of Lyrica since they met.

Y/N: Well, I could always just, you know... gap her here~ Though, not today. Usagi seems to think this to be enough for now~

Lunasa: So she has? Hrmph. Botherances. Another thirty seconds and I would have clocked overtime. There goes the good coffee for the next few days.

Y/N: Ohh, and, Lunasa? I highly doubt that it's Mr. Cretin that you're jealous of~

Lunasa: ...What? Please, I've no desire to be in his presence in the slightest. None at all. Now excuse me, as I am in the mood to be burning an effigy. On a stake. In Salem.

Y/N: You keep telling yourself that, dear. Buh bye, now~!

Lunasa: Good riddance. Now where can I find some kerosene and three rods of hemp...

* * *

The remainder of the night dragged on quickly, uninterrupted except for the occasional cries from the top of the mountain. Faint in the distance, they echoed constantly, the soft cries bouncing through the cave and into the ears of a resting human.

As morning broke the night's grip on the land, sunlight managed to make its way through the small hole in the rock. Finding the eyes of the human named Earl, it knocked on the eyelids and asked if anybody was home. Slowly, and eventually, he answered. "Ahh, good sleep. Is it morning already? And why do I feel like saying Ayaya? Aye yi yi… Where is my samurai?" Giving his head a shake, he forced himself into a sitting position.

Gazing at the rock wall as if he was deciphering a prophecy from its cracks, he eventually knocked himself out of his stupor. In doing so, he remembered the company of one other that was present. Rather, the company of one other that would take exceptional joy in eating him should he not be careful. Glancing from side to side, his tepid voice rang out. "Little pixie? Miss Pixie? …Are you awake?"

The only response he received was a surfeit of snores coming from the fairy. Smiling gently, he watched as she rested in the early morning light that had managed to creep into her cave. Oddly enough, to his eyes, he noticed that her pink hair had a metallic sheen to it as it shined in the light. His eyes fell from the pixie's hair to her face as he finally let himself take a good look at his possible little friend.

But before he could take in how cute she seemed to be, her cherubic face began to screw itself up. "Not the… not the bees… Noo…" Inhaling deeply, she let out a loud snore as she continued to murmur to herself, voice lacking any sort of energy. Chuckling slightly, he found his eyes drifting down the rest of her ghost white body as he realized something rather obvious. Something told him he had missed a spot check once again.

The pixie was absolutely naked.

The only thing that kept him from immediately spinning about and covering his eyes was the large amount of mud that had dried on her, protecting her modesty from his eyes. Still, his ears burned as he immediately jumped back to her face, barely noting the odd build of the pixie. Instead, he contented himself with watching her sleep for a moment.

Eventually, the adorableness of the pixie caught halfway between a woman and a child proved too much for him, and he reached a hand forward to lightly ruffle her hair.

Letting his hand drift past feathery wings that were whiter than her skin, he began to ruffle the girl's hair, unable to not smile at the vision of innocence before him. As he did so, he was surprised as the pixie began to growl low as he continued to rub, her small head pushing against the slight pressure. Eventually, Earl realized that it was not a grow; instead, it was a purr of contentment. As she continued to make the noise, his bones began to resonate at the rumbling note.

He felt himself stop in his activities for a moment as the feeling shocked him, quite unlike anything he could quite place. Still, he did resume quickly enough, much to the pixie's enjoyment. Grinning at the continued mewling, he mused to himself. "Perhaps this pixie has a little bit of cat in her. Makes me wonder if they're supposed to be as cute as possible."

As he was distracted by her actions, Earl didn't even notice as the pixie's mouth opened and she shot forward in a blur, capturing his fingers in her teeth. Teeth that were shaped like needles, and as sharp as knives that had at one point made their home in his stomach. It would be nearly pointless to say that it was out of the question for him to attempt to tug it free, so firm was her grip.

The teeth began to gnash lightly, pulling at the skin of his fingers. Breath beginning to shorten, he tried to talk himself down. "Ok… that hurts. Still, I suppose it's just one hand, and if she really wants to eat me, she'd just go ahead and do it." He continued to stay stock still, not moving a hair's breadth as she continued her mastication. At least, until her teeth broke the skin.

As the blood began to trickle down her fingers, the pixie suddenly stilled, her nose twitching at the smell of his blood. Taking the chance, he immediately yanked his hand out, half of a second before she snapped her jaws shut. The click of her teeth against each other echoed about the cave, into the very depths that he had not yet taken the time to explore.

Glancing at his hand, he widened his eyes and shook his head as he realized just how close he was to losing it. A small, insane chuckle passed his lips as he watched the blood drip down his fingers. In the background, he barely noticed as the pixie moaned softly in her sleep, still sniffing and occasionally snapping at the air. "She might look like a kitty, but she bites like a lion. Still though, time to face the devil and all that."

After shaking his head, clearing the odd thoughts out of his brain while thanking his lucky stars that he still had a hand, he turned back to the pixie and leaned down. Making sure that he was just outside of biting range, he began to whisper to her. "Miss Pixie? It's time to be up."

Another soft moan and a snore answered him, as a lazy wave a hand tries to slap at him. The dice in his head didn't even need to roll for him to know that he dodged it, weak as that swing was. It was as if he was trying to avoid a blade of grass floating on a lazy summer breeze.

Earl let out a small sigh of frustration as his attempt failed. Even if the pixie might be annoyed if he roused her, it would still be nice to know if she was alright after kissing that tree the night before. Still, he'd just have to wait, as waking her more forcefully was both wrong in attempting to disturb something that cute, and not worth risking the bite. Speaking to himself, he began to plot out his next actions. "Alright, so I'm not going to be getting her up any time soon. But what to do while I wait for-"

A quest hook was received when his stomach gurgled, making him shake his head. "That's my answer, I suppose. Guess I'll go and find food while I wait…" Rising back to his feet, he made his way back towards the blinding light of the morning sun. Hand raised up to protect his sight, Earl made his way out before waiting for his eyes to adjust to that comparatively intense light. After doing so, he felt the mental dice roll again as he glanced about, searching for any locale that might have food.

He snorted to himself as the dice seemed to land well, his eyes meeting a critical success. Before him lay a few hives, with bees buzzing in and out as they sought out flowers. The only other thing of note besides a few trees and empty fields was a person attempting to sneak through said fields. More specifically, it was a person dressed in the garments of a rogue. Sneaking through some relatively tall grass. If you define tall as knee height at best. In the middle of a bright morning light.

Rubbing his eyes, Earl mentally reviewed the dice roll, double-checking that he was actually seeing what he thought he was seeing. Deciding that it wasn't some odd hallucination creeping along, he shook his head and ignored the painfully obvious rogue, and turned to the hives.

After staring at them for a few minutes, he immediately turned back and began walking towards the rogue. "Can't get any honey out, even if I wanted to. Don't have my shirt on… Pixie's still using it as a pillow. And I'd rather not get stung like the dickens." Picking up the pace, he began to trot over, coaching himself through his plan. "So, perhaps I might ask that nice, friendly, and completely unsuspicious person over there if she knows where to get food for me and my pixie… friend."

As a feeling of dread washed over him, making him glance backwards to check and see if said pixie was about to creep up and have him for brekkers, the rogue flinched and began shouting in Earl's general direction. "Hey there! Who do you think you're calling a girl? I'm a man, dammit!" Immediately, the apparently, if overly feminine man began to mutter to himself. Closing in within earshot, he was able to hear the tail end of his grievances.

"…just because I'm a drow with a tragic past and is a good person, and not a parody of Drizzt doesn't make me a woman." Throwing his effeminate hands up into the air, he shouted, "Hell, I've never even seen a good drow chick!" However, by this point, he began to blush. At least, Earl thought he was blushing. "…Crap. Just blew my cover."

The elf began to grumble, apparently angry that he had his cover blown. Whatever cover he may have in the middle of day and sneaking through an open field. Mentally taking a note to never try and do something like that with a stealth score that low, Earl laughed softly before speaking. "Sorry 'bout that. Considering that we are in Gensokyo, it wasn't much of an unreasonable assumption to make."

Glancing about, checking to see if there was anyone else listening, he continued. "Not to mention that I would be surprised to find that anything male doesn't stay as such for long. But I digress. My many apologies for thinking that you are female, Mr. Not-Drizzt." Curiosity overcoming the rest of his priority, he asked, "If I may, what are you doing out of the Underdark? Bit of an odd thing to be seeing your kind here. Also, how did you manage to hear me from all the way over here. Must have some pretty good ears on ya."

Snorting to himself, the elf looked down his short button nose at the human, huffing at his ignorance. "Elf hearing, you little shit." With that, he proceeded to ignore the human. In the lull of conversation, Earl began to smell food coming from a sack that the drow had by his side, and his mouth began to water.

Also, he began to notice the rest of what the girly man was wearing. Which included a set of daggers strapped to his waist. Wondering exactly what he had on him, he glanced down at his body and checked his inventory, attempting to remember if he had anything on him to protect himself.

By what he was wearing, Earl was able to make the deduction that he was skilled in unarmed combat, as he was indeed clad in a set of greaves upon his shins. Also, there appeared to be a set of large pauldrons on his shoulders menacing with spikes of villainy. Pauldrons that were certainly not there the very last time he checked. Or when he was last wearing his shirt.

Before his brain ground to a halt with any more questions, Earl dismissed it as a segregation between gameplay and story. Whatever the hell that meant. After all, his life was neither a game nor a story. Was it? He just hoped that he didn't miss anything else important, like if he was wearing pants. "Perhaps I should put more points into perception…"

Turning his attention to the preening drow, he sighed and spoke clearly. "You still haven't answered my question. What do you happen to be doing here?"

With a roll of his eyes, the drow drew his daggers and stared down Earl. "I'm a bandit, you moron! What else would a good-guy like me be?" Looking at the daggers, Earl barely stopped himself from shaking his head and tsking. They were of extremely poor quality, with rust being visible on the edges. The poor blades hadn't been taken care of, even with a lubrication via blood. Still, he shook his head, determined to take him out as quickly as he could, in order to remove the threat. Granted, this did not mean painlessly, but that didn't bother him in the slightest.

Apparently deciding all of a sudden to not attack the human, the drow began to drone on in his high, annoying voice. "You should know that my past is extremely tragic. After all, I killed my parents in cold bl-" Before he could finish his statement, he was quickly and painfully put down by Earl. Via his greaves of +1 man-bane to the drow's nether regions. Or at least, the little that could be said that he had.

Idly watching as the drow crumpled to the ground defeated in a single bow, Earl nodded sagely to himself, saying, "For a given definition of tragic, I suppose… Typical though. Bloody male drow." With that, he began the task of rounding up any and all valuables that he could find, which proved to take longer than expected. Somehow, though, he was able to stuff most of everything inside the sack, even including the two knives that weren't even worth the metal they were made of. After all, the cutting edge was still decent, and one never knows when they would need it.

Starting to leave the drow alone on the fields, Earl did eventually stop before turning back towards the unconscious body. "I do wonder… After all, he won't be needing a shirt now. And since the pixie is using mine…" With objective set in mind, walked back towards the limp body and began removing the padded armor. Removing the shirt that he was wearing beneath it, he slung it over his shoulder, carefully avoiding the menacing spikes as he did not want to put a hole in his new shirt.

Wondering what to do with him, Earl glanced back towards the cave for a moment, thinking out loud. "Don't want to be killing him, as he hasn't done anything quite yet. Just been threatening. Might as well just tie him up then. And if Miss Pixie wants a snack if this food isn't good enough for her…" Shivering at the mental image, he proceeded to tie up the drow with some rope he had located within his pockets. Ignoring the reasons as to why exactly he was carrying around rope in his pockets in his first place, he turned his back to the unconscious drow and began his trek back towards the cave, dragging his bag of spoils the entire way.

Upon returning to the cave, Earl called out to the little pixie, hoping that she would either wake up, or that she had already woken. He was dreading in the back of his mind having to physically wake her, and risk being unhanded. Thankfully, however, she began to stir, stretching her arms and cracking the mud that was covering her.

"Mmnn…" Pulling the temporary pillow that had once been his shirt closer, she slowly sat up, looking about with bleary eyes. "…Mornin', I be supposing… Whoever you are- Oh, you." Blinking again as she recognized him, she shook her head and flatly said, "Go and die already."

As she had no real heat behind her voice, Earl gave a sigh of relief. She didn't seem like she wanted to eviscerate him. After all, he hadn't done anything too terrible, now had he? As she kept moving, the modesty afforded to her by the mud crumbled away with every move. Feeling the heat rise in his face once again, he turned away and tossed the rest of the loot he was carrying, along with the shirt, onto the sack.

Without looking to her, he tried to point out her wardrobe malfunction. "Erm… Miss Pixie? You're having a… a bit of a problem, with your…" Trailing off, not having quite a proper way to describe it, he simply hoped that she understood his intention.

It was not to be, though, as the pile of junk that he had acquired from the would-be bandit distracted the pixie instead. Striding over, the caked on mud finally made its exit to the stage floor, leaving the pixie resplendent in the garb of her kind. Namely, the birthday suit, as some would call it.

Eyes having gone to check and see if she had followed his suggestion, he instead felt his face burn even hotter, as if someone had unscrewed the top of his head and decided to pour lava in. The dice once more fell in his head, as for the first time in quite a long time he hoped that he missed a spot-check. However, it was not to be as he took in the sight of the pixie's odd, nearly alien beauty. Looking away, he again attempted to encourage her to examine herself. "Miss Pixie… you might want to be looking down. You've… lost something."

Still taking no regard to his words, the pixie began to rummage through the sack, searching through the junk, food, and the occasional priceless treasure that had no business being there. All were tossed aside, as she continued her search, until she gave a happy squeal. Holding up the cause of her jubilation, she rushed over to Earl, forcing his head down to look at her, naked in all her glory, with only a bouquet of flowers to protect her modesty. Bouncing up and down from one foot to the other, she asked, "Hey, human! Can I have these flowers?"

The big, sweet eyes of the girl stared up at him, and he could help but to melt at the sight. However, he still did his best to keep his eyes above her neckline, and not watch the bouncing of her breasts. "Of course you can. It's no trouble, no trouble at all." Tearing his eyes away, in order to remove it from all sources of temptation, he jerked his head back to the pile. "Anything else you want from there?"

Again, she ignored his remarks, running freely into the widest part of the cave. With wild abandon, she began to tear apart the flowers, scattering the petals to the four winds. In the back of his head, Earl heard a voice scream 'oh the botany', but he ignored it. After all, voices screaming about made up words were always figments of the imagination, and weren't premonitions of doom.

As she did as such, the man shook his head, laughing slightly. As the pixie continued to dance in the shower of petals, he couldn't resist it at the sheer innocence that he was seeing. If he didn't know better, he would think that she was being cute merely to be cute. "Cute girl… Pixie… bah, whatever." After his mirth receded, he walked over towards the sack and began to fish out some buns to eat. Oddly enough, it was warm. Hopefully, it was either freshly made or it was warm from the heat of the sun. Not because the drow kept something rather unpleasant inside that helped the food rot. Or combust.

As he began to snack on his buns, the pixie's fingers began to glow as she began to invoke a magical spell. As the glow intensified, the torn and ripped petals floated up before being pulled to her skin, sticking as ferrous metal might stick to a magnet. Before he could even begin to chew, Earl found himself staring at the transformation sequence. It was as if he couldn't look away, or even dream of interrupting it.

As the remains of the flowers clung to her, they began to melt, sewing themselves together into a kaleidoscope of colors. A dress of many colors, as if a rainbow had come down from the sky and wrapped about the pixie. His eyes watering at the sight, he looked away, as the dress seemed to hem itself, tailoring to fit the pixie extremely well. As the creation of the dress finished, Earl idly noted that it seemed to be very similar to what one of the Lily's would have worn. Minus the whole fact that they wore one color at a time, instead of all of them.

Once his mind was able to cope with the dizzying array of colors that she presented him with, he realized that it made her appear rather cute. Even if it was the hypnotizing pattern of tie-dye, it seemed to fit her. Coughing softly to gain her attention, he said, "That was pretty fancy, right there. I thought you were going to stick them in your hair, or something to that affect." Glancing to the side, he felt the tips of his ears heat up once more. "You do look nice, though."

The pixie turned back towards him, giving a rather wide, beautiful grin. At least, it would have been beautiful if not for all of the needle-like teeth that were exposed. Suddenly, he imagined that all she would need is a little light hanging from the front of her head, and she'd have a built in trap ready to hook in any prey that was unwary. "Thank you much, human!" The innocent joy in her eyes faded, as something ancient seemed to well up.

"Plus, now you'll stop looking at me…"

The terrifying look she was attempting to give was interrupted by the growl of her stomach. Seeking any opportunity to not visit that conversation, Earl immediately asked, "Hungry? Anything in the pile that you might want to eat?"

After all, Earl had to go out of the way to ensure that he didn't become her next meal.

* * *

Lunasa: ...And I'm not jealous of Merlin, not at all. Stupid hag, and stupid cretin... Just tolerate him for my coffee...


	4. Cuipid's elixer

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

U/N: Ahh~ That was a good, if surprising, bath! Squeaky clean~

Lunasa: I bet it was. I will have to admit that I had quite an enjoyable in the preceding evening, as well.

U/N: Really? How so?

Lunasa: One does enjoy the simple things of life. A nice bonfire, a warm cup of coffee, the screams of someone you hate. Although, I had none of the latter. But I certainly was able to imagine it.

U/N: I don't remember Begi screaming...

Lunasa: Remember, burned an effigy, not the real one. Such a pity. ...And Begi?

U/N: Well, it's a short version of his name! Such a long name, it is... Plus, it sounds like a dog! That begs! Who's a cute little Begi? It's you! So cute~

Lunasa: Hrm, so I see. I might like to use that the next time... But I don't think you'll be succeeding in leashing him. As entertaining as that might be.

U/N: Why? Have you tried putting a leash on him? How bold~

Lunasa: ...No, nothing of the sort. But how do you think my sister would react?

U/N: Of you putting a leash on him? I'd think she'd be fine with shareing with you! She's quite share-y!

Lunasa: The only bad thing about that idea is that it requires his presence about me. But enough about the cretin. Should we done with what we are paid to do before anything else interrupts us?

U/N: So! How are you, Loony? Been holding up okay? Yukari troubles, maybe?

Lunasa: Just because I have blonde hair, and am related to Merlin, does not mean I am also a Lovegood. And whenever does one not, in some form or fashion?

U/N: ...I guess you have a point.

Y/N: Does she, now?

Lunasa: Oh, the molester of instruments. I'd greet you, but I haven't the energy.

Y/N: Ohh, I molest other things, too~

U/N: ...Such as?

Y/N: Such as... here, and here~

U/N: Whaa! W-where do you think you're touching me through your gaps? !

Y/N: Aaaand... here!

U/N: Eep!

Lunasa: Oh, bother, I knew I never should have signed up for this job. How can this day get anyworse?

Y/N: Well, because you asked...

? ? ?: Wah! Who did, what just... Oh, Lunasa! What do you think you're doing?

Lunasa: Next time Yukari, if I ask a rhetorical question, just kill me instead. ...Hello sister.

Yukari: Noted~

? ? ?: Here you are! Have you any idea of where I've been looking for you and Merlin? Here you off trouncing about, when I've been busy...

Lunasa: Lyrica, we've been at home most of the time. _More_ than what we used to be, for that matter. You could have found us at any time.

U/N: It's like a family get-together! It seems like it's missing some people, though...

Y/N: Ufufu... Should I, or should I not...?

Lunasa: No, Yukari. To be honest, we should not be having this discussion here, Lyrica. If you haven't noticed, we're live.

Lyrica: Live? Are you _performing_ Lunasa? Without your sisters? We **never** do such a thing! We are one as a group! We do not simply go off and do whatever we want! That is not how a professional musician conducts herself!

Lunasa: Where is my coffee? I feel a headache coming on...

Y/N: Wasn't asking you~

U/N: Should you what...?

Y/N: Fetch the remaining sisters~ It would be quite easy, and be quite entertaining!

Lyrica: And this! I've heard about this coffee, but you've become an addict to it! I've heard what you're doing! Working these jobs for this man, just so you can have your own special blends!

Lunasa: Technically, it's the same as a gig, and I can buy whatever I want with it. All that I want, however, is coffee.

Lyrica: So, you're selling your image for a cup of joe? Next thing you know, he'll talk you into selling your heart and-

Lunasa: How did you know about the coffee? You haven't been around to know that.

Lyrica: -soul for a song! It is our job to sell songs, Lunasa! What he's having you doing is about as bad as making you go out like a common _whore._

Lunasa: ...

Y/N: What's wrong with going out like a whore - common, or otherwise...?

Lunasa: Yukari?

Y/N: Yes~?

Lunasa: I'll answer your question later. But for now... Hold down the fort. Since little sister has decided to play in the big leagues, we're going to have a big girl... _talk_

Lyrica: Luna, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-

Lunasa: **Come**

Y/N: I suppose I'll just have to pass time by way of enjoying Usagi a bit...

U/N: Wait, wha- eep! Wh-what are you d-do- N-no, not... not there- Nhaa...! N-no...! Stop th-that!

Lunasa: -and remember that, or so help me... Oh, great. Yukari, if you're going to play bedtop sports for indoor types, go find a bed. And a willing partner...

Y/N: But the slowly easing up resistance is the best part~

U/N: Shtop...! Nmmm...

Lunasa: Fine... Be glad that I tolerate you this much, Usagi...

U/Y/N: Ehh?

Lunasa: Now, Yukari, be careful. Or I might do something worse than what my sister did...

U/N: Ehh? W-where did she... What did she...

Lunasa: Oh, I'm just in here. The gap hag.

U/N: ...Why are you... punching yourself in the face?

Lunasa: She's too old for me to kick her in the face, instead. Not limber enough, you see...

U/N: I see...

Lunasa: You know, this was supposed to be the point where you get away while I distract her. As I am wondering why she hasn't simply used her powers to get me out by now. Also... How does she manage to do anything with these things on her? Can barely keep myself balanced...

U/N: Maybe she... finds it entertaining? Somehow...?

Y/N: Bingo~

U/N: ...This is going to get confusing, I just know it...

Lunasa: Of course you would find being clobbered in your own face amusing.

Y/N: Well, I was a tad close with... Daiyousei for a time. Pain can be rather pleasant, really~

U/N: I'm not sure who's saying what...

Lunasa: Just remember who's talking about whom, and you'll have us well met. Could you imagine the Daiyousei _I_ know to be friendly with anyone? Especially ones smart enough to see her game...

Y/N: Or strong enough to turn her human with but a thought~ Ohh, I do think I'd have fun straitening out that dimension you live in. Now, if only every single other alternate dimension wasn't warded against the various versions of myself! I'd have limitless ways to entertain myself if that were the case~

Lunasa: Eh, I'd just get the blank to set the maid on you, somehow. Be most amusing to see you being chased around to whack you in the head with a mop. But you're assuming everyone would enjoy a more... _wild,_ version of Yukari. At least, wild comparing to the one in Begi's script... love that name.

U/N: I've only seen her like... twice, not including now.

Y/N: I do like to work behind the scenes~ I see all, and can be at any number of places at once. Or, if need be, even at any time. The joy of manipulating the existance of existance~ Took 1000 years to learn, but it pays off quite well~

Lunasa: Did you by any chance moonlight as a pyramid?

Y/N: Nnnnno, why do you ask...?

Lunasa: Because... Bah, that barb is too obvious. Why am I even bothering to feed the troll, anyways?

Y/N: And now I don't have to beat you a bit~ Anywho, don't you have something to say, Usagi?

U/N: Ehh?

Y/N: ...You forgot, didn't you...

Lunasa: Did she forget to even read the script? Bah. Better get out to get mine. ...Yukari, let me out.

Y/N: But you fill me up so well, Luna~

Lunasa: Just read the script so I can get out of here... The things that I do...

U/N: Let's see... there doesn't seem to be anything important to say...

Lunasa: Please, what are we paid to do? Sit here and talk to each other?

U/N: Ahh, and in the corner, in a rather mysterious handwriting is... japanese. I can't read this!

Y/N: Ahh, that's right... Forgot that the barrier of translation only covers verbal language~ Anywho, you should probably adress the lack of main characters!

U/N: ...But aren't you one...?

Y/N: Well, yes, but this isn't even the story. Long enought to be one, though.

U/N: Okaaay...? Umm, I guess there isn't enough Touhou in this story as of yet, so do bear with me...?

Lunasa: Indeed. The pixie was initially a throw-away character in their little game. Sadly, the whole deal spiraled out of control. You might say the whole situation was rather unfortunate.

Hina: Do not be bringink moi into zis!

Lunasa: ...Just, please, go away. I need a freaking drink... and my own body.

U/N: Well, as everything has been covered, and this section is... quite large, how about we get on with the show!

* * *

With wary eyes, the pixie eyed Earl, before moving her hand to steal away an apple that was resting in the pile of loot. "Just don't be doing… anything just because I accepted your offer." However, her rumbling stomach overrode any concern, and she bit down onto it, sharp teeth tearing into the flesh of the fruit.

With a relieved sigh, Earl looked down at his pixie friend and let out a sigh of relief. Glad to know that his attempt to divert the pixie from considering him to be her next meal was successful, his curiosity was piqued at what she had mentioned. Tilting his head, he asked, "What do you mean do anything? What would I do?"

Finishing the first apple, the pixie let out a delicate roar of a burp before picking out a second. Before she bit down once more, a frown marred her face. "That… poking thing, that the men do to me. With their fleshy meat gun thing."

After taking a moment to let what the pixie said sink in, the man blanched. "What… you mean…" Shaking his head, he tried to chase the mental image from his mind. "I'd never do such a thing. Just… go ahead, and eat all you want. I'll be fine."

A bright smile lit the pixie's face, as she yelled, "Yay! Thanks human! That thing they did hurt a lot. Made some red stuff come out of me. I felt as if I was going to respawn…" Shaking her head, she bit down on the second apple, before devouring it even more quickly than the first. "So good… Been so long since I ate."

Taking a deep breath, Earl closed his eyes as his fists clenched by his side. There was no target nearby to take out the sudden calls for annihilation in his brain on. So, instead, he focused on the pixie and not on the urge to destroy. "Are you feeling better now? You've seemed to have healed, at least compared to the state you were in last night."

Pausing in her current attempts to devour the entirety of the pile of food, she flashed a rather toothy smile at Earl. At least, toothy compared to the other ones that weren't suggesting dismemberment. "I am feeling better. Thanks, though. You're the nicest human I've ever met, mister!"

Smiling softly, he turned back away, facing towards the outside. "I'm trying to be, Miss Pixie." With a shrug, he motioned towards the outside. "Shall we be going, though?"

Wiping off her face quickly, the pixie left to her feet and into the air, so as to begin flying. However, her wings, one twitching and one fluttering, seemed to have trouble keeping her aloft. "Ghh…" With some reluctance, she let herself settle back down onto the ground with a frown on her face.

Raising a hand towards the pixie, he asked, "Are you in need of some… help, little one? If you need me to, I can help you along. Or carry you, if you'd like."

Blushing slightly at the attention she was given, the pixie glanced away. With a glum tone, as if she didn't care for a word the human said, she replied, "W-well, if you insist…" However, she took his hand all the same.

"I don't. But if it helps you, I don't mind all the same." Cautiously placing his hands on her side, he picked her up as smoothly as possible and placed her upon his back. Momentarily confused as to why she was so easy to pick up, he found himself asking, "Ye be alright on up there?"

However, the pixie had stiffened on his shoulders. Thinking that he had done something wrong, the man began to panic, before the pixie stated with eerie calmness, "…I sense rain coming." As she spoke, her eyes floated to a distant point, gazing at an unseen object.

Nodding slightly at her statement, the man tried to follow her eyes. Even as such, his mortal eyes were not nearly enough to see what hers sought, so he desisted. Even the almighty dice would not have been able to assist him in that regard. Looking up towards her, he asked, "Shall we chance the rain then? Or be we wanting to stay where the land remains dry, if dark?"

Pausing for a moment, he bites his tongue, realizing that he sounds rather odd. "Must have been something I ate… How odd."

Any further rumination, though, were cut off by the pixie. "It's not an if. It _will_ rain. Though, if you need me to, I could always turn my dress into an umbrella." Before he could turn his head up to glance at her for that statement, she continued, speaking more to herself than anything. "It's not that I mind being seen without clothes. Although, it might be more useful to turn my dress into a sack to carry the food and stuff!"

Shaking his head in the negative, Earl began grabbing up all the loot and food he could and shoved it into his pockets. All the while, the pixie stayed balanced on his shoulders as if she was glued to them. "It's no problem at all, little one. Just lead me on from up there. I'll try to keep up." Grinning crookedly, even though she could not see him, he joked, "I might have to ask you to slow down once it does start raining, though.

As he had continued his work, the pixie kept nodding absently, not really paying any mind to what he had said. Before saying a word, she snapped her fingers, causing her dress to shimmer once more. It held its form for a few seconds before dissolving, particles fleeing the pixie before being reformed in front of the pixie. The flakes spun about each other, tightening into what first appeared to be a lump, which then transformed into the recognizable form of a drawstring bag.

"There! Now we can carry it all!" Snatching the new form out of the air, she held it forward, with an innocent little smile on her face.

Sighing in a bit of frustration, and attempting to ignore the fact that the fairy on top of his shoulders was now once again naked. Taking the sack from her hands, he couldn't help the amused snort that fell from him. "Alright, alright, you win…" Sardonically, he continued. "How did I ever survive without you before…"

Still, he filled up the sack not quite to the brim, before holding it in his arms. And so, with the bare pixie perched on his shoulders as a parrot might, he left the cave and began to stroll towards where he remembered the golden fields would be. Idly, he waved towards the direction of the tied up drow before focusing in on the direction of the field, its location not even needing a roll to discover where it was once again located.

Out of the corner of his eye, the drow began to struggle again once he caught sight of Earl. Clenching his fist, he opened his mouth to shout, "Damn you, and your little gi- _Ohh_, naked little girl!" Sighing, he turned towards the elf who was now making odd, lewd looks towards her. Although, given the particular drow, they merely looked constipated.

Leaning forward on Earl's head, the pixie gave the drow an odd look before asking, "Who's the weirdo?"

Fixing the elf with a hard stare, Earl shook his head, disrupting the pixie who had just made herself comfy. "He's the one who so kindly donated breakfast to us. But if he keeps looking at you in that particular… way, he might just become dinner, if you want him…"

"Bleh." Clinging to the side of his head, the pixie spat onto the ground. "He stinks of evil… What a horrible stench… even if I doubt it'd affect his taste." Calming down, she tapped her finger on her lip. "I've no idea, really. What do you think human? Should we gut him and toss him in the sack?" As she spoke, the drow tied to the tree cringed, face contorting into a rictus of distaste.

Shrugging his shoulders, momentarily launching the pixie into the air, he replied. "It's not my decision to make. He's been a creep in more ways than one, but he hasn't _truly_ done anything worth ending his life over… yet." Pausing, he shrugged his shoulders, returning to a more practical argument. "Besides, he isn't human, so he might not be to your taste. Unless you'd like to branch out into more exotic dark elves…"

Gagging, the pixie nearly swallowed her tongue at the thought. "Elf? Bleh… I hear they taste like _jealousy_. Nasty taste, that…"

Eyes flashing red at the indignity, the drow begins to spout off about revenge. "I'll be back with an army to smite you, for these injustices you've visited upon me! I'll hunt you down to the ends of this very Earth!" Oddly enough, he seemed to have forgotten for a minute that Earl had quite explicitly spared him, because he hadn't done anything. Poor fool seemed to have a rather short attention span.

Chuckling slightly at her words, Earl shook his head. "Well, I _do_ suppose they both live beneath the Earth's crust…" Still snorting, he kept his laughter mostly quiet as he turned to drow. Judging him as he hoped the Yama herself would judge him when he eventually returned, he stepped forward while removing one of the rusted daggers. Stabbing into the rope, he sawed through slowly, causing enough stress that the dagger split in twain down the middle. "Be off with you then! Just remember, if you come back to harm me, or _especially_ to harm her, you'll be in for a world of hurt."

In a flash, the effeminate row leaps forward, and yanks away the odd paldrons that Earl possessed. With a rather uncatlike tread, the rogue sped away in a comical lope, shouting "Kiss my ass suckers!"

The pie stared at the man, watching as he sped away from the items that had allowed her to steady herself on the man's shoulders. Even if they had managed to be strapped on. Among other things. It was quite odd, no matter how one looks at it. "What a strange guy…"

Only able to blink in astonishment at the girly elf's actions, he shook his head and turned about. "…Indeed. So… let's be off, I suppose!" Glancing about, he realized that even though the field was still in sight, it was still a ways off. Joking only slightly, he asked the fairy, "…I don't suppose there's a yellow brick road around here anywhere, is there?"

As some sort of divine retribution for the paucity of humor within that joke, the drow reared back and threw the last and most heavy of his possessions at the man. A single, yellow brick flew out from the depths of the forest, missing Earl's head by such a small margin, he might have hit the broad side of a barn that was behind the man.

The broad side of a barn a football field to the left of the man perhaps, but it was a close miss for a drow of such caliber.

Ignoring the object tossed in the general direction of her ride, the pixie pointed over to the distant yellow field. "Well, that sunflower field over there is quite… yellow. Why don't we head there?" Seemingly wanting to describe the field with more than just a simple declaration that it is yellow, she continued. "It's full of flowers all year, even when there should be none. It's like a never ending spring."

With a breathy sigh, the pixie looked away with stars in her eyes. "And Miss Daiyousei lives there! She's nice to me, when nobody else is…" As she finished, the smile on her face tugged a bit down. Not that Earl could see it. No spot check in the world could allow him to see out of the back of his head.

As she spoke, Earl's eyes were caught on the glimmer of light emitting from the brick. Curious, he walked over to the brick and picked it up. Oddly enough, the brick felt as if it were covered with dust, even if it was clean to his eye. Not to mention that it sparked like the worst sort of vampire… Holding the brick up, he said, "Alright, that sounds perfectly fine with me! Although I thought that was a field of wheat, not sunflowers… But if you could, would you kindly hold onto this for me?"

Plucking it from his hands, the pixie placed in between his neck and her body, letting the metal cool her down. "Ahh… That feels so nice on _such_ a hot day." Patting the human on the head, she asked, "So, why are we keeping this shiny brick made of shiny stuff?"

Earl took a few moments to answer as he pushed his way along the forests edge, staying out of the center of the open grassland. Partly because he wanted to stay somewhat near the shade while not descending near to the sleeping youkai. And partially because a voice in his head was yelling to stay out of the long grass.

Ignoring said voices, he replied to the pixie. " There's no real particular reason we're keeping it. But it would have been a waste if we'd left it to sit on the ground, wouldn't it? Perhaps it is magical… Can you perhaps tell if it is?"

As he spoke, he felt the die fall right as his eyes crossed the field once more. They continued to scan as they found a treasure chest. In the middle of an open field. With nobody around to defend our guard it. Under his breath, he muttered, "_Surely_ such an opportunity isn't a trap…"

Not hearing his last statement, the pixie stares at the brick for a moment before shrugging. "No, it just feels real nice on my skin. Nice and cool, not heating up… It's keeping me really chill…" As she made a happy little sigh, Earl stiffened, trying his damnedest not to think about where exactly that brick was.

Continuing to walk along, he thawed enough to let out a nervous chuckle. "Well, that's good, then… As long as you are happy, I'm good."

During his attempts to block the images from his mind, Earl found himself standing outside of the suspicious chest. Glancing from it, before scanning the field, he sighed. He opened up the pack, digging through it in order to find some sort of tool to open the chest safely. Unable to find a ten-foot pole in a two foot long sack, he sighed and instead settled for the knife. Swiftly bending down, pixie clinging to his ears to stay steady, he used his cracked dagger to flip open the lock, and then the lid of the chest.

Before he could really react, a random, and extremely pale, fairy popped out of the chest, clutching at her own chest while gasping for air. "Thank… you…" Before she could say anymore, though, she flopped to the ground, continuing to gasp for air before she collapsed completely, fading from consciousness.

Eyes blinking in surprise, Earl glances at the fairy before kneeling down next to her. Turning his head to the pixie, he asked, "Do you know who she is? And what we can do?"

Instead of an immediate response, he received only the hurried breath of the pixie. "W-warn me if you're going to make such sudden, random movements! Idiot!" As punishment, she decided to muss up his hair with the most lethal of noggins. "A-anyways. I've never seen her before, but I-I think she has resurrection sickness…" At the look on Earl's face, she continued. "She looks a bit… see-through."

Shuddering to herself, her hand reached out and stroke the fairy's transparent hair. "I never want to die enough that I start to get like… like that. Poor fairy must have been in there for… _months_. At least…" Shivering at the thought, she gives a sad sigh as she hides behind Earl's head, almost afraid to even look at the fairy.

With a sigh, he patted the pixie's head, in an attempt to calm and comfort her. "There, you'll be fine, friend. I'm sorry for jostling you." Lowering his hand, he looked down at the fairy, trying to plan his next step. "Is there anything we can do to help her, or does she just need rest?"

Shaking her head, the pixie attempted to explain, peeking over his hair at the fairy. "It's not like that. Nothing can be done… at least by us. If she dies much more, she'll be returned to nature, permanently." Shaking, her grip tightened on her mount. "The thought that one mistake of resting in a box could do such a thing…" Her eyes peeked out at the box, narrowing in thought. "Although, I wonder…"

With a sudden, random movement, the pixie leapt from Earl's back and began to float over to the box. Peering inside, she bent over and looked inside. "Let's see, is there anything else in here…. Oh! The chest is full of fairy dust!"

Stunned by her actions, Earl couldn't help but get a perfect view of the pixie as she leaned over to peer into the box. Tearing his eyes away from the unnaturally perfect view, he felt the blush once again covering his face. Instead, he pointedly looked away as he stood up to make his way over to the chest. In doing so, he noticed that the cold feeling was still present on his neck, chilling him.

Reaching back to feel at the brick, he was surprised that he couldn't find any purchase between said brick and his neck. Perhaps it was some malleable metal, and had conformed during the pixie's ride on him. Ignoring the brick for now, he instead queried the pixie. "What's so special about all that fairy dust, anywho?"

"Well, you know that soul watchamacallit that you humans have?" At his nod, the pixie continued to speak, a pair of glasses seeming to shimmer onto her nose. "It might be easiest to say that's the closest thing that we, fae, have to one. Except, instead of losing it all at once when you die, we only lose a little sliver at a time." A stricken look on her face, she glanced back down at the dust in the chest. "But there's enough that it compromises the majority of the dust that would comprise her fairyheart, so I'd say at best, she'd have… about five deaths left.

Eyes knitting, the pixie continued to explain, voice becoming downcast. "Not to mention that said dust is quite high in demand, with those who are not capable of magic on their own using them as reagents. You might say that I learned this… learned it the hard way. Damned Black-White…" Shivering again, she unconsciously gestured her hand, gathering up a large the dust and having it swirl about her fingers. It spun about, speckle impacting speckle impacting pebble impacting pebble. Eventually, the entirety of the dust had coalesced into a single stone.

A single, yellow stone, glittering in the sun with a dusty texture.

Staring at the stone, Earl's mind clicked and his hand shot to the back of his neck. "Wait a second…" Peering closer at the rock, he spoke slowly in order to ensure what he suspected. "So, is that yet fairy dust, only concentrated?" At the pixie's nod, he paled. "Then this thing that is on my neck is part of a fairy's soul, too?"

As he spoke, his hands ran back over to where the brick was. However, he again had no success, as all he felt was a rounded lump, flush with the skin of his neck. Unable to yank it off, he closed his eyes and whispered something intelligible. Something that probably should have remained unspoken period. Looking at the pixie, he asked, "So, perhaps, what would one do with the remnants of a fairy's soul?

In response to his words, the pixie floated over towards her companion and leaned over his neck. Fingers tracing the lump of material, she let out a low whistle. "I guess it is, huh? That had to be… at _least_ a thousand deaths worth of dust, now that I think of it. At least, I guess." A shadow crossed her eyes as she looked away. "I'd never have imagined it was that, it was so large… Is that what the witch was looking for? That much fairy dust?" Musing, she idly traced the embedded brick, sending small sparks flying off. "She did mention something to that effect… Along with needing the life essence of an Avatar, or one of the Heralds…"

As Earl cleared his throat, the pixie jumped slightly, a blush tingeing her ears. "Err, right, back onto topic. There's a method of becoming in tune with nature, as we fae are, by consuming the dust of enough fae. It involves some other steps in the process, plus a few other ingredients. Dai mentioned something like that…"

Shaking her head out, she turned towards the human and gave a wide grin. "Crazy, though, isn't it? I know that we use it sometimes to give birth to new fairies." As she realized what she said, she felt heat rise to her face. "N-not that I've ever done something like t-that myself…" Floating silently for a few moments, she eventually finished. "The only ones who can see the dust in its raw form are those born from it. Even if you searched for it, you would have found nothing in the chest."

Turning towards the sun, she suddenly leapt up. "But we can't wait any longer human! If we do, we'll never make the garden by today!" As she finished her shout, crocodile tears began to roll down her face, staring pitifully at Earl.

In response the man chucked and shook his head. "If you insist. Let me gather up our new friend, and we'll be on our way." With little effort on his part, the man scooped up the bag and the fairy in his arms, as the pixie settled onto his shoulders.

Without much effort, he continued on his way towards the massive garden lying in the sun.

* * *

The following journey proved to be incredibly boring, with no excitement to be found. Even if the dice rolled three natural twenties in the intervening hours. However, as he walked along, he nearly fell over after hearing the sounds of what appeared to be a wild animal. Instinct overtook thought, as he hid by a tree with his pixie friend for a while, listening to the creature roar.

Eventually, though, it was discovered by the two that the roar was actually being called by a more local source of sound. Namely, the belly of the human craving food. Sheepish grin on his face, he carefully set the fairy and the sack down before digging through said sack, searching for a meal as a reproachful pixie watched.

"You humans sure do eat a lot…" Letting out a sigh, she floated away, realizing that she didn't want to make him force-march. After all, if hunger rears its head, why bother to curb it if a ready meal is at hand. One that isn't like to object to being seen as a meal. Can't be helped, I suppose."

"No, it can't. I'm sorry." He blinked, and looked down, taking out another piece of fruit that was on the top of the pile. "I suppose my metabolism might be a lot faster than a pixie's, or whatnot. His eyes drifted over towards the lump of dust, and a crazy idea crossed his mind.

Not noticing his actions, the pixie shrugged, before floating down next to the unconscious fairy. "Not like it's your fault, human." With a nudge of her foot, she moved the fairy's body, checking something with her. "Hmm… By the feel of it, she probably has no more than five deaths in her. Unless we can convince Dai to help her…"

Ignored by the two fae, Earl let his curiosity win out, and picked up the rock like structure, before wiping off a bit of the dusty substance on it. Sprinkling it on his food, he took another surreptitious bite.

Stunned at the sudden move, the pixie blinked once before shouting. "Ewww, you ate it! You just ate it! Nasty human!" Shuddering, she turned away giving him the cold shoulder. "Many fairies died many, _many_ times to give us that dust. So don't waste it! Even if you want to become one of us."

Glancing at the pixie, he raised a hand up to rub the back of his head as he chuckled awkwardly. "My apologies. I got a bit… Curious. Didn't know if something was going to happen. Sorry…" He glanced back at the little pixie before shrugging. "And I don't suppose that might be too terrible a thing, but I suppose I'd prefer to remain big. How else would I be able to carry you?"

Snorting in derision, the pixie glanced back over her shoulder. "Hmpf. Size isn't everything, you know… I have just as much strength as you, when I'm not starved! Plus I have magic! Granted, magic to make flowers bloom and stuff, but…" As she trailed off, she held her hand up towards the human.

As she did, Earl felt a blast of water hit him. Looking down, though, he saw no water trailing down his body. Instead, he felt himself become lighter, as if he'd be blown over by a stiff breeze. Not to mention a sense of calm that washed over him, causing an odd smile to cross his face.

Smirking somewhat at the effect on him, she continued. "And flight is a nice bonus, too. Even considering my current top-speed, it's so much better than walking about all the time. Much more _fun_, too…"

Odd feeling still in him, Earl jumped to his feet, barely noticing as his feet stayed off the ground a second too long. "I can imagine, as it'd certainly be better than walking in my opinion." Staring her in the eye, he suddenly glanced away, odd grin on his face. "Oh well, but if you want to fly instead of letting me carry you around, that's all that you should have told me."

Immediately, the pixie looked away and down, smirk vanishing from her face. The tips of her ears burned a she said, "My wing's broken, so I have to ride you. N-not like I particularly want to, or anything!" Blush covering her face, she waved her hand again, sending the man careening with another wave of magic. The man stood for a few minutes bracing himself before he emitted a small, childish giggle.

Eyes darting around, the man-not-quite-in-his-right-mind started to dance in place, eyes darting about. As he did, he found himself staying in the air for longer and longer periods of times. "This is fun. Also, that's too bad, 'cause I like carrying you, pretty Pixie. Such a fun word to say." Hopping over to the bag, he began to dig around in the bag, searching for something to catch his attention. With an excited shout, he pulled out a vial of liquid, constantly shifting in colors as he looked at it. "Hey, Miss Pixie, what do you think this is?"

She didn't bother to answer him immediately, instead content to gloat at what she did. "It's so fun to tease humans this way… Been too long since I've done it." She didn't bother to mention to herself that the reason she did it was because she was busy trying not to eat them. "It's such fun to see the big people acting like little children… I love teasing humans~"

Earl glanced back at the pixie, curiosity in his eyes. "Teasing? Are we playing a game, Miss Pixie?" When she continued to not answer him, he shrugged and turned back to the vial. "But you never told me what you think of it, Miss Pixie. Oh well, I'll just take it all for myself." Uncorking the stopper, he knocked back the vial, chugging its entire contents. He was so far gone as to not notice the sound of dice rolling in his head, or as the potion settled into a clear rose tint as it drained down his throat.

Wiping his mouth, he glanced over at the pixie, a big grin on his face. "Ok, Miss Pixie! What game do you have in-" The constant grin on his face suddenly faltered, before he looked around, sanity returning to his eyes. Confusion clouding his face, he asked, "Ehh? Why am I standing over here? Why was I-"

A sharp stab of pain lanced through his gut, causing him to double over and clutch at his stomach. As he did, he felt the glass bottle in his hand press against his stomach. Slowly, he held it up to his eyes as realization shot through him. "Oh no… That can't be good. Friend, what's going on here?" Another pain lanced through him causing him to twist in place as he fell to a knee.

The pixie stared at him before shouting, "Idiot, idiot, idiot! You… You're going to die now!" Running up to the human, she began to punch him in the shoulder as tears welled up from her eyes. "D-don't be leaving me now. Not alone again… idiot…"

Clutching at his stomach, Earl chuckled weakly as she pounded at him with pulled punches. "It's… it's alright. I'll be… alright." Sucking in a deep, labored breath, he felt his heart be pulled apart, as if it were coming undone at the seams. Another lurch nearly sent him tumbling, but he managed to fall to his knees and place a hand on her shoulder. "I'll be.. fine. I'm not g-going… to leave." At the very least, Eiki's promise shot through his mind. He knew that once he came back, he could hopefully find the fairy if anything did happen.

However, all of the sudden, he felt his heart snap back into place, along with the rest of his body. He stayed still for a moment as he felt nothing. Nothing, until a warm feeling began to well up within his ribcage. His other hand rose up to his chest, clutching at it.

After nearly allowing herself to breathe a sigh of relief, the pixie immediately descended back into worry. Grabbing his shoulders, she shook him in an attempt to make the human look at her. "W-what's wrong now? Human!"

He stayed silent for a few moments, breathing in and out as he tried to regain his composure. "I don't… know. Hopefully, it'll end… soon." As he spoke, he looked up, looking the pixie in the eye. As he did, he found his vision being covered by a mist of rose-red. And he began to notice things. The gently slope of her face. The pout of her lips. The short button nose. The crystal clear eyes. He felt his heart pound as he discovered just what he gazed upon.

Raising a hand to wipe away from the red sleep from his eyes, he gazed with clear vision at the beauty before him. With a soft smile coming to his face, he raised a hand to the soft face, rubbing away the tears from her eyes. "I'm okay. It's okay. Don't cry."

Gently, he wrapped his arms around her, bathing in her presence. Stroking the silky hair, enjoyed the experience for a few minutes before leaning back. Cupping her face, he stared at her with stars in his eyes. "You're beautiful…"

"E-ehh? Really?" Eyes widening, the pixie glances away, blushing furiously as she tried to avoid his eyes. For this time, she had rolled the dice with her magic. And she wasn't quite sure whether she liked the numbers they showed.

* * *

Lunasa: Dammit, Yukari, let me out of here already! Damned youkai...


End file.
